This song was written after an exercise at a workshop, where we were paired up with another participant, and had 20 minutes to interview them and try to find a song.
This is for Alex, who opened up her heart about living with bipolar: the manic ups and the depressive lows. She found that she could only be totally creative when she was off her medication, so that she could experience these emotions. She passed away 17th February 2017.
lyrics
I can’t give you perfection
If that’s what you’re expecting
You can’t compare me with the crowd
I’m a loner, a survivor
I need to be free, so I can be me
Dancing on the grass
Singing to the stars
Crumbling to the ground
Wishing, wishing I could die
You may feel that I’m broken
Because I’m so outspoken
I live my life full and fast
Make some friends, but they don’t last
What you get is much more then you see
Chorus
I make complicated plans
That you’ll never understand
I have two personalities
I’m running out of time
To find which one is me
Chorus
Watch me rise, see me fall
Some days I fall into depression
Watch me rise, see me fall
Manic days I find my inspiration
Watch me rise, see me fall
Watch me rise, catch me, catch me when I fall
I’m an artist, a performer
When I’m not hiding in the corner
Bask in my imagination [frustration, irritation]
When I’m off my medication
This world’s not ready for me
Chorus
I can’t give you perfection
If that’s what you’re expecting
You can’t compare me with the crowd
I’m a loner a survivor
I need to be free, so I can be me
I want to be me
Why can’t I be me
Just let me be me
I just want to be me
credits
from Ebb Tide,
released February 12, 2021
Words and Music by Russell A Bave and Reb Alexander
Russell has been playing and writing songs for many years. He has played in bands and duos, but now plays solo. He also runs a weekly folk session at his local pub. Web page: musicalbeggar.co.uk
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